More commonsense advice

[Black Cat]

Following on from Oldsaltoz's thread:

1. Don't waste money buying expensive binoculars. Simply stand closer to what you want to look at.
2. Putting just the right amount of gin in your goldfish bowl makes the fishes' eyes bulge and cause them to swim in an amusing manner.
3. Save time when crossing a one-way street by only looking in the direction of oncoming traffic.
4. Thicken up runny low-fat yoghurt by stirring in a spoonful of lard.
5. Anorexics, when your knees become fatter than your legs, start eating cakes again.
6. A next door neighbour's car aerial, carefully folded, makes an ideal coat hanger in an emergency.
7. Hijackers. Avoid a long stressful siege and the risk of arrest, imprisonment or death by simply making sure you book a flight to your intended destination in the first place.
8. An empty aluminium cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes an inexpensive vibrator.
9. Olympic athletes. Disguise the fact that you've taken anabolic steroids by running a bit slower.
10. Before attempting to remove stubborn stains from a garment always circle the stain in permanent pen so that when you remove the garment from the washing machine you can easily locate the area of the stain and check that it has gone.

[shauck]

he he he.

[Oldsaltoz]

An Obituary printed in the London Times...

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:


- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
- Why the early bird gets the worm;
- Life isn't always fair;
- and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;
I Know My Rights
I Want It Now
Someone Else Is To Blame
I'm A Victim

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

[watson]

:C sad but true

[Black Cat]

increasingly true. My grade six teacher used to wonder aloud why they called it 'common' sense when it was already then a rare commodity. These days the stepchildren are in full control I suspect.

[gpkennedy]

Some interesting ideas in this thread.
Not wanting to start a war, but the story of the lady who was injured by the coffee deserves a longer read.
It is an interesting read.
The Actual Facts about the Mcdonalds' Coffee Case (http://www.lectlaw.com/files/cur78.htm)
George

[shauck]

I must say, everyone knows that coffee spilt will hurt and that if you try to drink it immediately you might end up with a blister on the roof of your mouth but third degree burns, I wouldn't have expected that. Her injuries sound horrible. Cup holders.

[goldie1]

The jury said she was only 20% responsible! Wonder what they were smoking duing their deliberation

I have had instant boil hot water units in my kitchens for the last 20 years which heat water to 190F . So far I have escaped scalding

The other thing that puzzels me is why she was buying coffee at Mcdonalds ?

[Black Cat]

I had third degree burns in a similar circumstance (admittedly not so widespread). Was offered compo but pointed out it was my stupid fault for trying to walk down wet concrete steps while reading a book at the time. Still a real problem with getting compo for that sort of thing. No right-minded person would put a flexible cup between their knees to stabilise it, if it held a hot liquid.

You do have a point Goldie.I mean if you like coffee, why on earth would you accept it in a polystyrene cup in the first place?

[goldie1]

I wonder if her lawyers would have advised her to sue if she had of bought the coffee from a small owner operated van on the

side of the road. Gettting the lions share of a large settlement from some one who can "afford to be sued" has a amazing

effect on legal advise.

[shauck]

The other thing that puzzels me is why she was buying coffee at Mcdonalds ?

A "real" coffee as anyone who loves the stuff will know and any good barista will tell you, is made and served slightly less than hot so the grains don't get burnt and you can actually taste it. McDonalds coffee is an abomination.

[BRADFORD]

I had a coffee from McDonalds once.

[goldie1]

I had a coffee from McDonalds once.
Ah! mcdonalds and coffee goes together like strawberrys and ...um... tobasco sauce!

[shauck]

I will admit. I had one once and it wasn't bad just too hot, not third degree burns scalding tho. I guess the memo was passed around.

[Moondog55]

Sorry but anybody who puts a hot cup of coffee between their legs deserves to get scalded, and I believe the correct brewing temperature for coffee is 86C which is quite hot enough to scald you but not boiling, coffee is supposed to be hot.
Secondly anyone who drinks Makkers coffee deserves to be removed from the gene pool

[shauck]

They wouldn't quite make the darwin awards tho.

Darwin Awards: 2011 Darwin Awards (http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2011.html)

[Black Cat]

The chap who overtook me on a blind spot on the weekend would though. He was on my right rear side when it became obvious there was on-coming traffic. Did he drop back behind me? Nope, apparently he and the kids were in a hurry so he kept on going. I ended up in the ditch, as did the oncoming traffic. But hey, he wasn't delayed. Was sorely tempted to let him hear his ancestry, but turns out he lives just up the road ...

[shauck]

That is absolutely highest on my list for "things I hate" Living in a rural area, it happens a lot. The Gov't are always targeting other issues (which is fine), but a big campaign on overtaking would make me happy. When I get someone itching to overtake, I usually slow down so they can pass. I was think about this yesterday and realised that if they get in an accident, I'll be behind or next to them at the time. It's tempting me to change my strategy to speeding up and force them back behind me. At least then if they end up in an accident, it's happening behind me.

[terenjac]

I had a similar experience a few years ago ............. a car came around a curve, on the wrong side of the road, nearly forcing me into a drain. You know that expression "you can never find a policeman when you want one" ? Well, there was a police car right behind me when I met up with that idiot. I will never forget seeing that police car put his lights and siren on, do a 180 degree turn and take off after the idiot. Took me half an hour to stop laughing !!!

[shauck]

I'd love to see that.

[Black Cat]

Our local coppers are fairly phlegmatic about this sort of thing. Still, I guess they reckon it's a way to keep down the population ... Pity it is rarely just the idiot driver who is hurt.

[commodorenut]

I don't know why people are such morons when overtaking, nor why they do it when they are close to home, or amongst neigbours/workmates/friends who they're not only putting in danger, but also putting their own survival in danger!


We had a local P-plater who was well known for swinging the back end of his ute around every corner, which culminated in the splattering of my green-waste bin halfway up the street one evening.....

One afternoon, less than 5 minutes from home, he went around a string of cars, all doing 70 in the 70 zone. I thought he'd pull in before the blind bend, but nooooo....... Luckily it was a motorcyclist coming the other way who hadn't committed the corner yet, and he was able to go wide & make enough room. 1km up the road I crested the hill before home, only to find him smack up the butt of a near-new Lexus that was waiting to turn right. Sad part was she'd stopped with her wheels turned, so she got punted into an oncoming charade. People behind the charade were helping him out. I got out to help the lady who had a face full of airbag. I gave her my card & told her I didn't witness it, but I witnessed stupidity that lead to it. She told me not to worry, her husband was *** ******* (a well known local solicitor) and that his contacts would be ripping the guy a new one.

Had he behaved, he would have been home maybe 10 seconds later, rather than hours later.

[Black Cat]

It is the inability to think through to the consequences of the action that causes the behaviour so no amount of logic will encourage a better result sadly. My chap had his kids aboard too - makes you wonder where their brains are.

[Moondog55]

I have to say this, cents are not common any longer as they have been taken out of circulation, perhaps that is the problem and all we have to do is re-introduce the penny.

[Black Cat]

What? So we can drop it for a few of these bozoes?:laughing1: